It's been a busy week since I announced my soon-return to the U.S., now only two days away. I left Gulu Tuesday morning to come to Kampala for the remainder of my time. My things are packed, goodbyes have been said, and today I am wrapping up the last of my business in Kampala.
I've begun my preparation for re-entry... A series of emotions, processing, and thought-pattern transitions which I am seriously dreading. I don't fear re-entry. I've now "been there, done that," and I don't think it could possibly be worse than the first time...right?!
I know certain things are inevitable. In the process of apartment-hunting, I saw an apartment listed at 800/month. "800,000 shillings a month!" I thought. "That's a good deal...wait." Also in the process of planning out apartment life, I tossed around the idea of buying a bigger mattress and setting it up on the floor with a heck of a lot of pillows and blankets- super boho. "But will my mosquito net reach all the way to the ground?" I thought. The idea of driving on the right side of the road, on the left side of the car, freaks me out a little more every time I think of it... Don't ask me to make any left-hand turns!
I'm returning to a place where I can't walk anywhere as a single female; I can't bargain for groceries, transportation, clothing, etc.; I can't hail a motorcycle taxi at all; and dressing up is somehow less of a thing than it is in Uganda. (Seriously, women here dress up for everything- or no reason at all. Even if they have little, they find a way.)
Will I feel overwhelmed? Probably. Relieved? In a way. Homesick? Definitely. I know I will be surrounded by friends and family who love and support me, and I am so excited to see them. Yet I dread certain questions: "How was your trip?", "What was your favourite part?", "Weren't you scared?" and "What's next?"
This was not a trip, like a vacation or a backpacking adventure. It's home.
I don't have a favourite part. Living in Uganda has become part of my "normal." I couldn't possibly pick something out.
No, I'm not scared. More scary things have happened in the States in the past year than in Uganda. Even if I was in Sudan, Congo, or Somalia, though, I would be safer in the will of God in an uncertain place in the world than I would be outside of the will of God in my own backyard.
What's next? Only God knows, exactly. My plan is to be in the states for a little while before I return to Uganda. There is a lot of paperwork that has to be done from that side, and of course funds have to be raised again. My attention will be largely on lining up things for Wajumbe, and I will have a job for my personal expenses on the side (the dreaded juggling act).
After a meeting with my lawyer on Wednesday afternoon, I left feeling like I have a good grasp on what my next steps are for the organization. It won't be easy, but I have direction.
So here come the days ahead. I'm looking forward to the chance to step back and process and refresh. God has graciously given me moments of one-on-one connections with friends, moments of silence, and moments of humour in the past week. (Two days before I left Gulu I saw a man wearing Star Trek glasses... And the next day I saw a different man wearing a full-head rubber Ronald Reagan mask while riding a bicycle. Oh, Gulu.) I'm so thankful for His continued grace upon grace that sustains me.
There are big days ahead. See you soon, Louisiana.
<3, Robin
