It's been quite some time...
It's not that I didn't want to blog or journal in the last two weeks, but I've simply lacked words. Now that I've been back for a bit, I feel like I can gather my thoughts. Well, I'll try to, anyway.
I came back to America with the expectation of "reverse culture shock" being difficult, sure, but I didn't know how. I thought I would walk into grocery stores and fall to the ground in tears because I have too much. (Walmart was a little overwhelming, I'll admit, but I skipped the dramatics.) What I didn't realize was that life here in America didn't pause when I left the country. Life continued; things changed; people moved, married, had babies. I was overwhelmed not so much by materialism, but simply by the fact that life had continued, both here and there, almost as if in a parallel universe. (How else do I describe this?!) There are so many differences in the two worlds, in the two lifestyles that continue moving forward, and words simply can't describe them. I guess only experience can.
I was also really overwhelmed by the amount of white people. Just sayin'.
There's a thousand little things that I never noticed changing in myself while I was in Uganda:
I have no concept of time.
I eat slowly.
I walk slowly.
My accent keeps floating between Southern-Cajun and borderline British... I don't know. Lol.
In five months of living in Uganda, there's one common lesson that I learned, and I learned it multiple times. God is Sovereign. Life happens, and with it, all the good and the bad. Joy and heartbreak. Life and death. But God is still good, and He is still Sovereign. No matter how uncertain circumstances are, I choose to trust Him.
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So that brings me to today.
As I have seen people for the first time since being back, similar conversations happen:
"Hey! Welcome home! Was it amazing?"
And, it never fails: "When do you go back?"
It's like everyone knew I was planning to go back or something. ;)
Right now, I'm in a good season; naturally, that means it's actually a really awkward, confusing time of figuring things out- but I trust God, and therefore it's a good season. I've been calling it "living in limbo." It's the time where I know exactly where I want to be, when I want to be there, what I want to do... all that's left is the "How?" that so inevitably follows.
Jesus knows. I might be living in limbo, surrounded by life happening, but God is still good, and He is still Sovereign. No matter how uncertain circumstances are, I choose to trust Him.
Love and prayers,
<3, Robin
