You read that correctly- six months ago. But like every "ending" moment, I had no idea.
Six months ago, I was still "living in limbo." Culture shock was still a beast, the door back home to Uganda was still not budging, and I was tired and frustrated. I knew I could not wait forever, so I made some proactive decisions.
I got an apartment and a roommate, I took a part-time position at a retail job, and I told God, "Okay. It looks like you have me here, for whatever reason. I don't like it, it's not what I planned... but I trust You."
One month later, something dropped in my lap.
Crossroads Church does an inner-city outreach every Saturday called Crosstown. Students from our Master's Commission and volunteers from our church partner together to present a kid-friendly "church service" at three different locations throughout our city. We sing and dance to praise and worship songs; we play games and give away prizes; and most importantly, we give children and families an opportunity to see the love of Christ.
It just so happens that one month after I chose to proactively trust God in all circumstances, my church was in need of a director for Crosstown.
Here's where the details get crazy. One of our MC students, Jordan, had graduated Masters and went to New York for an internship with Metro Ministries (basically a really big, well-established Crosstown). She would be back at Crossroads in December to take the position of Crosstown Director; but in the meantime, they were without a director.
After much prayer and consideration, I said yes. I had no idea...
no idea...
what I had just said yes to.
In August we re-launched Crosstown. By September, we had all three sites back up and running. By October, I knew children at all three sites by name and story...and they knew me, too. By November, I finally began to see the hand of God in the past several months of "limbo."
While I was still praying for God to take me home to Uganda, He was still resolving cross-cultural conflicts in my heart. While I was pushing on a door that would not open, He was gently expanding my heart, day by day, so that I could love more. While I replayed the face of a starving little girl over and over in my mind's eye, He was preparing me for the face of another little girl who would change my life forever.
This sweet girl and her two sisters were our faithful congregation at Crosstown. From day one back in August, rain or shine, cold or warm, they came out every Saturday to play with us and learn about Jesus. We were privileged to teach them how God will give them courage to trust Him, no matter what; how we should be thankful in all circumstances; how much God loves them!
Last week we went out on Tuesday afternoon for our weekly "Crosstown Community," only to hear that these three precious girls had moved out of state. My heart broke. Suddenly, I was hit by a long list of what-ifs. What if this was it? What if Crosstown was the one time in their lives that they would experience Jesus, family, safety? What if I was the one God chose to use to love those little girls unconditionally?
That's when I realized that limbo was long over. I was no longer sitting around, waiting. I had to love, and love proactively. I had to make the choice each day to be the hands and feet of Jesus.
*****
Transition is coming, once again. My job as Crosstown Director has been a temporary one, as we all knew when I took it. My dear friend Jordan is back from New York, and she and I will work together over the next month to transition her into the role as I transition out.
Transition. Ahh, I've felt it for a while. But this time around, I'm not living in limbo.
...transition. I suppose another blog will be required.
To be continued.
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